We really want to thank you guys for the amazing responses and messages we have received this past week after our initial introduction to this series. One thing we are both realizing at this time is the power we all hold in relationships to unlock each others individuality and self esteem, as we unreservedly offer ourselves to each other in love and without any sense of guilt or shame. When we shut ourselves off from each other sexually and deny each other the opportunity to explore our deepest desires and natural sensuality the resulting fruit will always be frustration, pain and separation. Via this blog series we are wanting to push some boundaries, boundaries which should never have existed and which will only ever hinder freedom and personal growth within relationships.
Just to let you guys know two things; Firstly, the transformation which Donna and I have gone through was something of a shock and a miracle. We do not pretend to have a formula for others to follow or a process which can easily be duplicated. Our only hope for you guys is that as we open up our hearts and vulnerably share our thoughts and journey that something will resonate with you and somehow help to restore desires lost. Secondly, as we progress through this blog series we just know that if we are to be honest to ourselves and really share our deepest thoughts then our language and the content we will bring will be super offensive to some. This is a massive subject, a huge part of our daily lives and yet it is so often viewed through a religious or cultural filter which helps no-one when it comes to walking in true reality. We want the ‘real,’ we are done with tidying stuff away into nice boxes when all along many are struggling in their marriages and are left wondering why everything seems shut down. If you struggle with guys just being real then maybe this won’t be the series for you. We will be very open in this series and will attempt to be creative and give at least some indications of what has helped us in our transformation. Anyways before we start really hitting some stuff here’s todays blog post meant to be a relational parody, thoughts shared between a couple who are struggling relationally, who are attempting to open up and be real with each other for the first time and are desperate for change. Maybe you see some similarities with these guys. (I write the guy to the lady and Donna the lady to the guy.) By the way Part 3 of this series is already written, Donna has nailed this one on ‘The Importance of Sex.’
The Guy to the Lady
I often look back at the freedom we experienced together. The chemistry we shared with each other was so amazing, so powerful. At times these days my mind gets caught up in a vortex of memories of moments we shared together. When we first met I was enraptured, everything which was in me trembled with excitement, whenever I saw you I shook with anticipation and needed to pinch myself as it all just seemed too good to be true. The way you dressed, the way you walked, everything just seemed so mystical, just so damn right. To hold you was a dream, you smelt so incredible and after every meeting with you I would then live in the tension of whether you would want to see me again, to be with me again. You were the first one who made my heart skip a beat, genuinely I remember the days where we would just lie together and longingly look in each others eyes, our lips so close together as we drank in each others breath, each others love. Teenage kids connected by blissful fate, allowed to explore each others life, each others love.
Sex with you was out of this world. Yes I had been with others before you but nothing compared to the moments which we shared together. As I said earlier the chemistry which we enjoyed together was just so magical, so perfect. Sex with you wasn’t just an act, it was a perfect experience, the joining together of two who were somehow created to always be together. Can you remember those days? We did it all, nothing was off limits, nothing seemed ‘dirty’ or not right. I never felt, not for one moment that you were holding yourself back from me. You gave yourself to me totally, nothing was off limits, nothing denied. Can you remember how hot those days were? Can you remember the depths of longing and sensuality we experienced together? Can you remember dressing up for me, arranging to meet me in random places so that we could enjoy each other in new and fresh ways? I remember it all, those were the best days of my life, I long for those days again, those were the days when I felt most alive, most in love.
I’m still not sure why I feel so disconnected from you these days, it’s as if you have totally shut yourself down from me? Yes we have sex and yes I love it but it seems more like a routine and I can’t get away from the feeling that you are holding yourself back from me? I ask you to do things with me and you just look horrified, yet these were the very things we enjoyed so much years ago, the very things which made us feel alive together? What is wrong with us? Yes I know I’ve been away a lot lately, I know this has put pressure on us in some way but surely you must realise that I love you madly? I cannot live anymore as we are with the realisation and memories of what we once were and once enjoyed, how can I live another 10 years knowing we will never experience the longing for each other that we once did? I’m not sure we can come through this, I feel so frustrated, please help.
The Lady to the Guy
When we first met you used to look into my eyes and I felt that you really loved me. The time has slipped by and that feeling has gone. I yearn to be excited again and ignited by that same desire. I see it in films, I read it in books, is it only meant to last through the honeymoon period?
I would spend ages getting ready to see you or meet you. I would be thinking about you constantly and every time you paid me a compliment or say that I looked good I would be so overwhelmed. I so wanted you to love me in the way that I loved you. It hurts that we have become so distant in areas; I want to feel that same excitement. Perhaps we have grown apart? Perhaps you want another woman? It’s not the same. I would love to find romance and love like they portray in the films, I miss that feeling!